Sunday, September 2, 2012
God has blessed me with three or should I say two good friends. A month and two days ago he blessed me with another friend, a cute three month old chihuahua who I named Bon Bon which means marshmallow. He was honestly my only friend. After graduation during the summer I didn't really see my friends one of them was always working and the other one became a house wife. We would still hang out but not that often, at first I did feel lonely and on July 31st I got a puppy a 1 1/2 pound chihuahua. He was honestly my joy, he was the reason I would wake up and go outside every morning and afternoon so I could play with him and carry him. I treated him like I would treat a baby he was so spoiled everyone in my family loved him. He became my only friend I would talk to him all the time and even though he was a dog I felt like he understood me. Today I was outside with him playing, throwing his ball so he could chase it. I was even telling him that this year for Halloween I was going to dress him up like a marshmallow. When I went to the front yard he followed me I was helping my sister pick up some branches that were on the ground and then all of the sudden he was dead. A huge truck ran over a 2 1/2 pound chihuahua. I cried my eyes out, writing this made me cry even more. I already felt lonely and now I feel even more lonelier. I don't understand why he left me so soon especially when I need a friend. I don't have anyone to talk to anymore, no one to lick my face when I'm sad or to bite my finger because I didn't give him his ball or to play with my hair when I lie down I have nobody to lick my ear and make me laugh because it tickled. My biggest fear has always been to become lonely and that fear is becoming true I have nobody in my life, no friends to talk to or to laugh about stupid stuff no one to tell secrets to. My life has become meaningless. The only one who I thought gave my life a little meaning is now gone.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Sometimes there are things in life that aren't meant to stay. Sometimes change may not be what we want. Sometimes change is what we really need. And sometimes saying goodbye is the hardest thing you think you'll ever do, but sometimes it's saying "hello agin" that breaks you down and makes you the most vulnerable person you'll ever know. Sometimes change is too much to bear, but most of the time change is the only thing saving your life.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
People get easily bored of things they know they have easy access to. If you're always being there for someone and always giving them your attention, they'll take you for granted. They'll get used to you always hitting them up and won't show half the effort that you do. Don't be mean. Don't blow them off. Don't ignore them when they need you. Just....don't be there as much. Make them see what they take for granted. Make them miss you.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
I have never been in love, I don’t know what love is or what it feels like. Lately I have been asking myself, why I have never fallen in love? Maybe its because I meet guys in the most awkward ways, or maybe I’m not an attractive person.
I have only had a crush on two guys, my first crush happened in 5th grade with a boy I have known since we were in second grade. My second crush happened in 11th grade with a guy I didn’t even know existed, he was one grade higher then me. Those two crushes were totally different. In 5th grade I was little I would flirt with him he would flirt with me. One day we even ended up holding hands after a game in P.E., my friends knew I liked him and I knew he liked me. I don’t remember exactly what those feeling felt like, I forgot what it felt like to have a crush on a guy. Then in high school those feelings came back, I fell head over heels over a guy I didn’t even know. I would get butterflies in my stomach, bumping into him at school would make my day. I even asked him for his cell phone number, sadly he didn’t have a cell phone. But being able to have the courage to talk to him made my day.
I know what it feels like to have a crush on someone but I want to know what it feels like to be in love. I was on Tumblr and thin I came across a paragraph that explained the feeling you feel when your in love. “ Being in love is a very strong thing. Your thoughts constantly drift towards this other person, no matter what you’re doing. You could be reaching for a glass in the cupboard or brushing your teeth or listening to someone tell a story, and your mind will just start drifting towards their face, their hair, the way they smell, wondering what they’ll wear, and what they’ll say the next time they see you. And on top of the constant dream state you’re in, your stomach feels like its connected to a bungee chord, and it bounces and bounces around for hours until it finally lodges itself next to your heart.” Pittacus Lore.
I thought that paragraph explained it perfectly it gave me an idea of the feelings you get when your in love. I know sooner or later I will fall in love I just have to wait for that perfect someone.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
1. Study for every spelling test.
2. Don’t waist all your money on clothes and shoes.
3. Never stop dreaming.
4. Keep reading.
5. Don’t ever let anybody put you down.
6. Start saving every penny for your Jimmy Choos.
7. Don’t ever fall for a shy guy.
8. Always stay close to your best friends.
9. Don’t cry for the pencil a kid broke on the first day of 1st grade.
10. In 2nd grade don’t write a mean letter to your best friend you will get in trouble.
11. Participate in school spirit.
12. In high school try extracurricular activities.
13. The sooner you can get a Tumblr the better.
14. Learn to have more confidence in yourself.
15. Write a bucket list with 20 crazy things to do before your 25.
16. God is going to bless you with three great friends.
17. Listen to your parents they are always right.
18. If you ever feel lonely talk to someone, don’t keep it to your self.
19. Learn to trust people.
20. Help out at church.
21. The sooner you go to a Search the better.
22. Don’t ever give up, you will accomplish everything you set your mind to.
Monday, July 23, 2012
I think I drifted from everyone. Everyone I used to be close with, it’s not the same anymore. The people I used to talk to on daily basis, are just like all my other friends, people I talk to every now and then. I don’t like thinking about it, but it’s true. All the people I once was close with, we’ve all kind of just went different ways. We’re still friends and everything, but I miss talking and hanging out with someone on a daily basis.
Friday, July 20, 2012
I really can’t picture anyone having a crush on me. I can’t picture someone thinking about me before they fall asleep, I can’t picture anyone getting butterflies because I said hi to them, or even just smiled at them. I can’t picture someone smiling at the computer screen or their cell phones when we’re talking. I mean like… why would they even do that? I’m just me. Nothing extraordinary, or special.